Internalized Homophobia in normalizing harmful behavior

The normalization of bareback anal sex in the GLBTQI community has become widespread, especially with the advent of PreP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis). While PreP has significantly reduced the transmission of HIV, it has inadvertently led to a more relaxed attitude towards other sexually transmitted infections (STIs), contributing to their spread. What’s curious about the modern “community”, it’s how none of their spokesman or its users, are wondering if this risky behavior towards one self and others, isn’t actually the ugliest face of internalized homophobia.

We’re not talking about HIV here, we’re talking about the sense of responsibility and mutual care that is necessary when we choose to have an active and promiscuous sexual lifestyle. Why aren’t we taking care of each other any longer?

Bareback, Chemsex and internalized homophobia

Bareback sex has become the norm, often glamorized in porn and perceived as the only acceptable practice. This cultural shift has led to stigmatizing the use of condoms, with those who choose to use them often shamed or ridiculed. The ease of access to PreP has made many believe they are invincible, neglecting the risks of other STIs such as syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and hepatitis, some of which are becoming antibiotic-resistant due to improper treatment and self-medication. The same goes with chemsex. Nowadays especially in larger cities in western countries, if you’re not doing drugs, you can’t be welcomed in most groups (especially if you want to partecipate to the most “lively” aspects of gay life, like events, gatherings, and so on).

This trend also touches on the deeper meaning and intimacy of sex, suggesting that the careless attitude towards barebacking strips away the profound connection that sex can offer. There is a highlighted need for responsibility and authenticity in sexual relationships, advocating for a balance between pleasure and health.

Internalized Homophobia and Its Role in Sexual Behavior in the GLBTQI Community

The issue of internalized homophobia is a critical lens through which we can examine the normalization of risky sexual behaviors in the GLBTQI community. Internalized homophobia is real, and it’s about to the internalization of society’s negative perceptions, shame, and stigma around being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, or intersex.

This internal struggle can significantly influence how individuals within the community perceive and take care of themselves and their partners, especially when the elders of our scene are not fighting against this issue at all.

The Connection Between Internalized Homophobia and Sexual Risk-Taking

1. Self-Worth and Self-Care: Internalized homophobia erodes an individual’s sense of self-worth, leading to neglect in self-care. When people do not value themselves, they are less likely to take precautions to protect their health.
2. Minimizing Risks: another behavior observed in people with internalized homophobia is the downplay of the risks associated with unsafe sex. This minimization is a defense mechanism, allowing individuals to engage in behaviors that the gay scene strongly promotes (nowadays) as acceptable or desirable, despite the potential harm.
3. Seeking Validation Through Risky Behaviors: Engaging in risky sexual behaviors is unfortunately often a way for guys to seek validation and acceptance within the community. The stigma against condom use and the glamorization of bareback sex pressures individuals to conform to these practices to feel accepted and valued, even at the expense of their health.

What happens if you speak up and try to defend your people, nowadays

When I originally wrote my article about the normalization of bareback in the community, I got contacted by a man whom for years have invited me to their family dinners, and whom always was friendly to me, and to whom I was always friendly. All of a sudden, this relationship stopped, as I received this message on X, and never head back from him.

I am posting this to underline one of the main reason why people don’t speak up: they are afraid of losing their friends, their connection to the community, and the feeling of being accepted. It’s curious how woke people always rant about Old Guard’s gatekeeping, but actually as soon as you exit their path of accepted opinions, you are in the best case scenario just abandoned, and in the worst one, assaulted and abandoned.

Advise to younger generations on safer sex

I don’t speak a lot with younger generations as I’m very disappointed from what I see generally speaking, and I have a hard time to engage with people who have been raised with giving everything for granted, feeling entitled about everything, and not having any sense of respect for rules, structures and discipline.

But not all young people is like that, and also many of those who behave like that are just following the flock as it’s natural at that age. Plus, todays older public spokesman in the community will be always up to raise awareness on topics that will bring them popularity, rather than what people don’t want to hear. So, nobody is talking about this problem.

So if you made it past these two paragraphs, here is my word of advice for you: refuse society as it presents to yourself now. I know everything looks amazing and full of possibilities, and that you can be whoever you want to be and that people will care about your diversity (actually, the feeling is that people are going to care for you more, because of a diversity).

But that’s all a big fat lie. Those, are marketing trends.

Nobody really gives a damn about you. To them, you’re just the umpteenth teen with a dog mask, a fluo harness or a diverse pronoun before your nickname. Try to say something that is not in-trend. Try to be truly diverse. Try to speak an unpopular opinion, and see what happens to all those glittery colors.

Be yourself, don’t be what your community tells you to be. Follow your heart and true feelings, and most of all LOVE yourself. Take care of yourself, and take care of others, not just in words to make a cool tweet that’ll get you noticed. Stop reacting to social media, and spend more time talking to people.

And when you have sex, remember that you’re probably experiencing 5% of the power of what you could live if you lived it with true commitment and integrity, without thinking if you’re looking good enough for the only fans video you’re shooting. Allow yourself to say “fuck off” to this modern community, who doesn’t know and doesn’t care about you; it only cares for you to agree with it, and not to create a problem.