This article has been written by Sköll, who has been a boy in training for 3 years in this Leatherfamily; he talks about what it means to be in a real leather relationship as opposed to what he was used to live in the weekend leather scene.
A boy’s first experience in Leather in 1989
This boys’ first experience with leather was in 1989. It was 17 and its then partner took boy to the Detroit Eagle. boy was so nervous on the way there, it nearly asked to change plans but it ended up going. boy was expecting wall to wall sex, and figured it might get raped the moment it walked in the door. Instead, it was met with the throbbing sounds of mix tapes, a bunch of guys wearing leather and having beers. Half of the crowd was dressed like boy, in simple jeans and a shirt. It did have a certain sexual undertone that boy found resonated with it, but its partner pretty much ruined the time, saying loudly “so what do you think of these leather queens?”.
We left soon thereafter as boy was embarrassed. No it was not exactly what boy was looking for but it was so much more appealing than the dance bars which were everywhere in the late 80’s/early 90’s. boy saw men dressed in varying amounts of leather; leather jackets and jeans, leather pants and a harness, and boys favorite: Leather Chaps. boy is a pussy boy bottom, yes, but boy also loves the taste of ass, and the feeling of furry butt on its face, licking deeply in the hole and sucking it also. Back then boy was fairly inexperienced and most of its sex life was fantasy. The relationship ended a few years later, and boy relocated to its home town in northern Michigan.
The computer age had begun and boy bought a computer, where it met a few guys from a city south of there who were into leather. boy ended up spending a few platonic weekend with these guys, hitting the leather bar there, and not finding what it needed, but it was getting closer. boy started attending leather club runs, IML, CLAW, leather bar nights in Detroit, and it met quite a few nice men, but something was missing; yet boy could not figure it out.
It was getting disappointing doing all of these things and feeling further away than ever from what boy needed, and what made it worse, boy was starting to enjoy the “leather weekend warrior” stuff, the sex, but the hope of finding that man that boy could submit to was becoming more of a fantasy than a reality.
And, boy thought it was looking for that hard guy that would grab boy, and make boy do what He wanted; or more specifically, grab boy and make boy to what boy wanted. To set boy free to experience the sexuality boy wanted but
didn’t dare pursue on its own, because boy simply was not secure enough to in itself to admit what it wanted and needed.
boy decided to stop searching, and settle for the civilian life.
This boy was in a sort of companionship, the remnants of a relationship, and sex of any kind eluded it. boy needs a connection to have sex, and without it, its just not possible. Connection doesn’t mean commitment, it means some feeling of connectedness, not just being a hole or a dick with someone. boy met a few men who seemed as if they had promise. boy saw potential in them but when it counted, it was just a weekend warrior thing, and the direction and learning turned out to be just meanness and being used. All this did was hurt.
As boy wanted to be a pleaser, it never really understood submission
boy read books, and really paid attention to anything that resembled a true leather relationship but boy really had no idea what that was. The more it saw, the more it figured the MASTER/SIR/DOM was just some egomaniacal jerk who liked to draw attention to Himself by embarrassing the boy/slave/sub publicly by giving it orders to do “stupid” things. “boy, get your MASTER a beer and carry it on your head” followed by gales of laughter by His “buddies”. The look on the face of this sub, being embarrassed and looking beaten down and defeated by these antics, but staying around because it seemed this was probably the best it could do, as it probably had no job, no life and the dynamic was this guy provided a place to live and minimal guidance in life, and this poor slob was the doormat, with no other choices.
And, when this man grew tired of it, the boy would be cast out, only to fall right into the same routine with
another jerk, and on and on and on. This was not the life boy wanted.
It felt there had to be more to this out there, and if there wasn’t, this was not the life for boy. boy was strong in personality, boy was responsible and very gainfully employed. boy had a pleaser type of personality but it wasn’t about to lavish this on some person who wanted to impersonate the Leading figure boy needed just to get service and not giving anything.
boy had tons of dark fantasies, fantasies that could even become reality, but not with just anyone. These had to be with a Man boy respected. Yep that was it. But does this Man even exist, or is this yet another fruitless pursuit?
Meeting Master Lupus
Strangely enough, after boys most recent failed relationship, this guy told boy to check out a profile on twitter, LeatherBigWolf. boy was riveted; boy thought to itself, “this is the Man boy has been looking for”. Yes, of course, He is handsome but there was something more there, in His eyes. He posted a photo of a Wolf necklace He had received, and boy complimented Him on it, and showed Him boy had recently received the same one itself. By some magic, He and boy began chatting a bit. boy was intimidated at first, sure that He could do so much better than boy, but He never made boy feel that way.
It was his looks an demeanor. Little by little the conversation became frequent and just flowed. He told boy He
was an Old Guard Leatherman, and boy was smitten.
He began teaching boy the ways of His life, and boy found itself responding in such a natural way it was as if He was telling boy what it needed. He went slowly, and it was long distance, 4500 miles distant, but boy felt it was right. It started out learning to address Him properly, different levels of protocol, and generally learning about one another. boy was very lucky as its MASTER was not afraid to answer anything honestly. He is a proud man, but He is a true Leatherman, and was honest. 5 months after training has started, it was time for boy to visit, and boy was excited and scared. boy wondered if it would measure up to the expectations of such a man.
It was also the furthest from home boy had ever been, and its trip was for about 2 weeks. It was a long plane ride and boy was exhausted when it arrived. W/we met at the airport, and it was an immediate in-person connection. boy was so happy!
W/we arrived to the house, and once inside, boy was ordered to remove all of its clothing and kneel down for inspection. Once this was done, a collar (consideration-collar) was placed on boy, and something inside just clicked. This was, in real life, what boy wanted! What boy needed! But not everything was easy.
Yes, W/we had sex and session, lots of both. boy thought its job would be easy as it should just basically be a breathing body for this Man to do with what he wanted. This was partially true, as He did call all the shots, but it wasn’t easy because boy had to own its fetishes. boy had to let go and be involved, and this was very tough for boy. In boys past, when boy was open about what it liked, many times it was chastised or even shunned for its desires. boy figured this would be true here also, but boy was in for a surprise.
Nothing was off limits to talk about and how boy felt was encouraged to be disclosed, when asked. Plus boy had so many new experiences, the first time it took SIRS whip, boy was scared to death. SIR took it easy on boy, explaining what it was, why it was important, and that it wasn’t a punishment. boy found itself begging for more, because of the connection it felt. That wonderful connection that goes so deep between SIR and boy, so deep it can transcend the miles. boy had finally found what it wanted and needed, and the MASTER it wanted to serve. it found its family, its place, and its safe place, which of course is kneeling between its MASTERS legs. Sounds wonderful, but it was not without some major hurdles.
A real Leather Relationship feels too good to be true
On many levels, boy could not believe this wonderful turn of events. There was such disbelief that boy rebelled inside, and nearly ruined the best things in its life. boy had felt rejection all of its life since it was a small boy. The reasons for that are a story for another day. But this held on, and boy didn’t really understand what it had in its MASTER.
boy acted so badly, and so disrespectfully, and yet MASTER never turned its back on boy. So at some point, boy decided to tell its MASTER that he didn’t want to do this anymore, and MASTER raised hands and said “it’s my responsibility and duty to accept your decision without forcing you into anything; but this is enough, this is it then.”.
When boy realized what had happened, the bad had already been done. boy swallowed its pride and did something it was taught by its MASTER: own what you do wrong and ask for forgiveness. boy was so deeply crushed but it did reach out and apologize profusely, and took responsibility for all that had happened, which was only right as it was boys fault. The road was very tough, as boy had hurt its MASTER deeply, but after a couple weeks, He said He would give boy another chance.
It was a tough road, proving itself to its MASTER. boy had to live with His doubts for a long time, and not till it show Him boy was serious and was ready to take this step. The thing was, boy didn’t realize just how badly it had hurt its MASTER. boys next visit, the initial look on its MASTERS face said it all, and nearly tore boy to pieces inside. It was a wonderful visit, but it
was awful too at first because boy had lost its credibility with its MASTER. Over time, this was rebuilt yet the shame of the past can be forgiven but never forgotten.
This brings boy up to the present, enjoying serving its MASTER in the way He deserves, which brings boy the peace and joy inside that its MASTER said it would but boy could not believe. It’s true, and when boy “got it”, its a very beautiful thing.
A real Leather Relationship requires hard introspective work
This lifestyle is not easy, as boy learned. It takes commitment deeper than anything boy has ever experienced before, and understanding at times, boy would fail. That’s a part of life in general and this one, is the same. boy learned more through its failures that it did through its successes. It was also taught to forgive itself, and take critiques with understanding and the willingness to learn new, better ways. Once boy was able to do this, things became so much better and boy was far more successful. It also realized so much more that this was the only choice for boy. It still surprises boy that through all the mishaps in the Leather world, it finds itself happier than its ever been serving its MASTER. boy was very lucky to have a MASTER filled with integrity, one who walked His talk, and had experienced things from His boys point of view. Its a long journey, one that never really ends.
Instead of looking at it as too much work, boy feels lucky that it will have a long journey filled with knowledge and new, wonderful experiences.