Dealing with orders and discipline in BDSM and generally in life has never been this boy’s forte, but there was a reason to it, as it’s really hard to understand discipline and obedience when there is a total lack of context and aftercare in one’s experience. Here’s his journey and his reaction to dealing with orders.
My Journey as a Leather boy
At first, being a boy is sometimes beautiful, sometimes frustrating, sometimes hot. These were all normal things for boy to feel, sometimes all at once. Orders to boy were viewed as suggestions, ideas, random thoughts that boy always felt the need to “add to” or analyze or worse, give its opinion and expect a lively discussion about them.
Looking back, boy is sure it was very close to being dismissed; but it was so new, boy just didn’t understand how things worked, or what was in it for boy.
boy acted out severely multiple times, and nearly destroyed its chance to live the life’s it was destined for. It was such a horrible time, boy will not get into detail here. It is worth mentioning, boy received some great advice during this time, from someone who helped boy more than He knows.
The whipmaker Alpha Sadist said to boy “when you are serving MASTER you have to swallow your pride…”. boy got the meaning but because of poor experiences in the Leather world before, boy didn’t want to feel as if it was giving up control of itself to anyone, as that was to boy a sign of weakness, and boy was not weak. It was the sign of someone who could not make decisions for himself, and that surely was not boy. boy was just going to need to work this out because surely there was a way for boy to keep its opinion in these interactions with its Master.
Time went on and boy was staring to catch on, at least it thought it had, and seemed to be doing the things boy should do. You must understand, boy was very deeply in love with its Master and thankfully so. This love kept boy close, receptive, and helped serve as the catalyst to keep boy in line.
Dealing with the first orders in BDSM from Master
boy can remember SIR telling it to wear the Leather jacket SIR gave boy as a gift more often, in fact, to wear it to work tomorrow. boy, of course, offered its opinion and ideas like “its really not cold enough and that coat is very warm”. This was an accurate observation by boy, so boy, thinking this was just a nice suggestion, explained how it “would wait until it was colder, and wear it then, ok?” No, that was not correct, but since boy really didn’t know its place, and it still had other issues, it had to help “guide” its SIR in its handling. Uh huh. Every order boy received was a session of “explain it to me”. SIR was getting frustrated, and boy was frustrated in a very different way, yet boy did not know why.
One day, there came a call with SIR, and boy had asked Him 3 questions, which was standard, and one of them was “what would You like to see from boy that would make boy better at serving You?” boy surely got an answer. Master explained that, boy needs to learn to stop trying to control things, and put its trust in Him. That boy would be filled with joy, and so many wonderful things could and would happen when and if boy would just learn to love its place.” boy was none too happy after this call, as it took things very personally, as if Sir said it was a failure. Yet, boy sensed logic in His words.
Could this actually happen for boy?
Learning to swallow your pride
boy threw itself into this, and found following orders wasn’t all that bad. In fact, in time, it became pretty fucking incredible. boy was finding this inner joy and peace it had never known looking at orders as teaching tools, not some mean things to toss out at boy to make it seem foolish.
This is the behavior boy was used to in the Leather world: being told to do stupid things that meant nothing, be people who weren’t taking anything seriously. But these things, these were done to honor its Master, and there were no mean spirited orders to laugh at or ridicule boy. These were things that boy desired, as boy had been forced all of its life to be in control and make everything work; here was an opportunity to let go of this and just let someone else drive. boy took it, and started to learn
not only to follow orders, what it meant to follow them, but it found it enjoyed this a great deal. boy was doing something very important and correct, and as a result, boy found it craved orders. The feeling it felt when it was told it was a good boy, let boy tell you: it was incredible. It was everything. Still, boy had no idea how powerful this could be.
Boy and Bondage
boy was abused as a child, in every way. boy was bound frequently and left that way for varying amounts of time. Needless to say, bondage is something boy has some reservations about. Yet, at boys last visit, SIR, who is very, very sly when He chooses to be, brought boy up to the play room. Master said He wanted to test his inversion bench to see if it could hold boys weight. boy works out and comes in at about 250lbs. “Yes SIR!”. boy lays on the bench, then SIR says “place your foot right here and here, ok looks good. Now, hold your hands up like you are going to fist someone, but when they slide inside the puppy paws, form a fist. Yes, boy, just like that! now let’s see how these straps hold you across your chest and legs and waist. Looks good!” At this point, boy says “wow this holds boy well!” boy reached down for the straps and was puzzled because the puppy paws don’t allow for removing straps or anything else. Suddenly boy says “That was pretty good. You got boy on the bench pretty easily and it had no idea what You were doing”. Then boy saw the double ended clips that were being fastened to boys paws and then the bench.
SIR smiled at boy and boy said “please SIR, boy cannot handle this. Please let boy go.”
SIR said, “No. You have agreed to be under my direction. If you want, everything can be stopped. Just say the safeword. Tell Sir why this bothers you boy.” boy babbled all kinds of things, all the reasons it could think of, ending with “boy doesn’t want to have an asthma attack”. SIR produced boys inhaler and said “boy, you will stay there until your Master decides to let you go. You can follow Master orders and lay there and think about why you are there and your Master is here. If you freak out, its ok; no matter what happens, your Master will stay right here with you the whole time, and keep you safe. Its ok to talk, to think, to lay quietly, or tell Me what you are thinking and feeling. You are in no danger.” boy could feel the cold feeling one gets all over and the tightening of its testicles with fear and anxiety, but boy had a choice. boy could follow its orders, and make the best of this and learn something or be a jerk and throw a tantrum, which would make no difference anyway. Or boy could have abruptly interrupt everything with the safeword and its consequences.
boy was there for a while and its MASTER said “how do you feel boy? Do you need to be released?” boy said it did and He said “how about 5 more minutes boy? W/we can have a talk while you make your Master proud, just as you have already for the time you have spent here.”
Every 5 minutes or so, Master kept asking if boy could do 5 more minutes. boy not only did 5 more minutes, it ended up doing about 1.5 to 2 hours that way, because it put its trust in its Master and not only followed His orders, but found the lightness in its chest, the feelings or pride in pleasing its Master, how letting go was truly letting go and boy did something it was terrified of, yet found this to be not boy’s main fun, but not bad. At first, it became better.
But shortly after boy was released, it felt a letdown of sorts, and wanted to be back on the bench, secured by its Master. boy suddenly not only found it enjoyable; it eroticized this activity, one that had scared it so as a child.
A dog’s knot and a penis gag
This does not only apply when Master and boy are together. W/we live 4500 miles apart yet boys belief in Him and its joy in following His orders can be felt and even take boy places with all the sights, sounds, tastes, scents and feelings as if it was truly there. It learned that its Master had its best interests in mind, for boy to grow and find desire in discipline. boy will share something that happened recently, as a result of following its Master orders. If this had not happened to boy directly, it would have had a hard time believing it was possible.
boy got the following Order from its Master: “Put the K9 butt plug inside, sit on a chair, put the pecker gag on and sit there for 20 minutes. While you do that, read your boy Mantra; focus on it. Then, write freely whatever comes and flows out of you, without thinking.” Here is the result:
“Sitting here with a dog knot plug in my butt and a penis gag in my mouth, boy feels very close to its Master, but it is not very physically pleasurable, but it is immensely pleasurable to hold this position for its Master, and think about boys Mantra. boy thinks about being in front of its Master, His cock in boys mouth, boy required to stay there but not move; no sucking or swallowing, just to kneel and let boys mouth bend to His shape as boy hungrily drools all over itself. Feeling the fur on His thighs, the bite of His boots on the outside of boys legs. The scent of cigar and leather while safely being encircled by Him.
The scent of His cock balls and ass, intimate sweat that this time only boy can enjoy. The intent look on His face as He knows how much boy wants to bring Him pleasure through working His cock with boys mouth. This is a different type of worship but just as magical feeling the throbbing and even His heartbeat now, on boys tongue, something boy misses when sucking Him. boy looks up and sees His beautiful face, enjoying His property, while boy shows great restraint and learning better that cock Worship is about His wants and needs, not boys. It’s torture being like this, wonderful discipline tasting His precum, and feeling the heat of the Beast radiating from Him, making boy sweat. Even the sting of the burning cigar ember won’t move boy from this spot. There is no shame in drooling boys desire all over itself. It shows that boy is hungry for His cock, His love, His allowing boy the gift of worshiping His cock. boy kneels, waiting to see if it will be allowed movement or not.”
This was an unbelievable experience that boy had as a result of following orders, 4500 miles away, having faith and displaying discipline and respect for its Master orders. As a side note, boy was tired and its ass was a bit sore that night from stretching recently before, but boy overrode its feelings and did the right thing, the best thing; following the gift of its Master orders.
Thinking back, boy was so resistant to taking Orders. boy spent many years as society taught boy what was “right” and what was not. This was a sad way to live. boy is very grateful to its Master for showing it a better way, a way that makes sense, the fulfillment and joy one can feel in this Lifestyle. Orders are very important, and following them is required. This is not forced; it is boys choice to offer itself to Him, yet once He chooses boy, and becomes its Master, Orders are no longer a choice. They are also not to drag boy down, or even lift boy up. They are functional learning opportunities and a way to pay Homage to its Master by following through on its promise; displaying integrity as boy was taught. Showing its Master through discipline, boy will always do its best for its Master. And sometimes, following Orders can take boy to places it never dreamed, as its Master has shown boy. Sometimes, boy connects deeply, and believe this boy: sometimes it can fly.
Thank you for your story. It feels like you wrote it as my story. Have had some of the same negative experiences as you. Although i started much later in life as you and it hit me harder(the depression is real) as you it was the same experience. Am now wondering if I will ever meet the leatherman that will take me and teach me to be all that can be for Him. Have spoken with your Master and he seems to be one of a kind. You seem to be very lucky to have found your Master and wish you and Him much happiness, love and success.
Thank you for reading boys story! Though every journey is unique, some share the same ideas, feelings, or even experiences. This boy is very grateful to serve MASTER LUPUS, and knows one day, you will find the Man you can follow. All boys best to you!